My meaning of life (for now)

It’s quite chronic now, how I get hit by the bus of “worrying about the future”. I really want to think about my future and not be sad about it.

I have been an optimist my whole life but last December I moved to a new country to try to “make it on my own” and at first it was amazing, I was super excited about the everyday adventure, I took care of myself, ate good food and did my assignments ON TIME.

Nothing wrong with that but that is not how I imagined my adult self living when I was young.

Ever since I gained consciousness I was obsessed with doing something amazing with my life, I always wanted to break the norms and live a life that contributed to the greater good of humanity.

This superhero complex is still present in me and I am really proud of it too. But with time and adult responsibilities, it got buried deeper and deeper.

As a child I was extremely curious and adventurous, I used to ask a buttload of questions about everything, and I always took paths that were unknown and quite dangerous.

I remember,  when I was in the first grade, we had huge bushes behind our school and there was a rumor that a witch lived in those bushes – can you imagine what I did next?

I stole a matchbox from my house, sneaked it into my school, and lit a fire in the bushes. Only a small area was burned down, the school called my parents(of course) and thankfully no one was harmed.

This was me with my superhero complex in the purest form.

So what I’m trying to say is doing this adult thing on a day-to-day basis is not only draining me but I’m also losing the sense of the real me, and that is not a small thing.

That is why I worry about the future a lot because I’m not living up to the expectations that my younger self once fantasized and was curious about.

I’ve always wanted to learn things out of curiosity, teach what I’ve learned to others, and of course make something that contributes to the greater good of humanity.

That’s the main word – Curiosity.

Curiosity should be the most important thing in one’s journey while on this strange blue ball in the Milky Circle. because as far as we know human consciousness is the rarest thing in the universe.

I believe consciousness stems from our need to know and understand anything and everything that is/was and will be around us.

So for the next year 2024, that’s what I want to do – I want to learn about my curiosities, innovate something new out of it, and teach that to others.

There must be lots of other curious individuals out there who might be lost from their younger self and as I get closer to my mini-me I want to help others do the same.

Because that’s what life is supposed to be about – you learn a thing or two, you make something out of it, you teach that to others and you fade away…